Is there a challenge in your life that is taking away your peace of mind and your joy? Do you feel like there is no way out of this challenge? Are you discouraged about trying to solve it?
Listen my friend, what if solving this is not the place to start? Have you thought about that? What if you trying to solve whatever that challenge is was the wrong way to go about it?
After spending many years trying to solve problems and trying to fix challenges, I finally learned not to; and how I proceeded is what I will be sharing with you in this message.
I will also offer you an opportunity to experience and apply what I will be sharing here with you. Fair enough? Okay, let's go!!!
If you could take a few moments to look back or to even look straight into your life right now, you will realize how true the statement "life could be hard" is.
I use the word "could" for a reason. The question is: What makes us say that life is difficult or hard? It's the simple fact that things don't go the way we planned them to go.
For example, you were hoping to get married at a certain age and it seems not to happen. You believe you can create financial freedom for yourself and your family; and that seems increasingly difficult. You have planned to have children but there are medical complications on your way.
The list can be endless.
But the difficulties are different for each of us.
You've got married hoping for a peaceful, never-ending romance. Unfortunately, the opposite is happening.
Your situation may be different from these examples. But one thing is certain: There is a part of your life that is not going as you would have liked.
Now, what can be done? I remember working with many people who have been trying so hard to fix their problems and work on their challenges. And there was a particular case that stayed with me to this day.
It was one of my clients' cases (let's call him Jimmy for privacy purposes). Jimmy suffered from fear of driving. His body shakes every time he thinks about it.
He didn't feel good about his wife having to drive all the time. And Jimmy wanted to be able to teach his son how to drive one day.
This situation affected Jimmy's happiness a lot because he felt less than a man. He couldn't explain the source of this fear.
Jimmy woke up every day miserable thinking about this problem. But here's what Jimmy was doing: He often thought about the problem, not the solution.
As a result, his brain reacted more to the picture of the problem and the bad attitudes he added to it. This made his emotional state go more out of balance.
He finally decided to talk to someone. This is how one of my friends referred him to me.
The first question I asked Jimmy was this: "Do you think the problem is caused by something outside of you or inside?" He said he never asked himself that question.
You see, Jimmy couldn't think about this question because he was thinking more about his problem than finding a solution.
So, I gave Jimmy a very simple prescription: You won't talk about this problem for 90 days. We will only talk about the solution and all the innovative ways to transcend the problem.
Jimmy accepted. Now we are on day fourteen, and he has noticed that his fear has started to decrease. Immediately, he thought I was performing magic on him LOL. And yet the solution was simple.
What really happened was during the 14 days that he no longer talked about the problem; his brain started to change.
There's a secret here that I discovered and was teaching Jimmy. Life seems difficult because our brain suffers from negative thoughts and our body is under stress from toxic emotions.
"To solve a problem", you must become the solution to that problem. You must become the person who can solve this problem. If we continue to be a negative person, how do we plan on fixing the problem?
This is why I was asking you earlier, what if trying to solve the problem is not the place to start? What if trying to solve whatever problem was the wrong way to go about it?
The question we must always ask ourselves here is: Who do I have to become to be able to create the solution that will solve the challenge?
When we are too close to an image, we always fail to see the details. This is what happens to us with our problems.
We are so close to them by talking about them and thinking about them that we fail to see the most important detail which is the fact that we are the ones first to change, and not the situation.
After 24 days, Jimmy had some incredible ideas.
He started taking mountain climbing lessons. He also took music lessons. His wife was so happy and proud of him that he lost the shame he once felt that he was less than a man because he couldn't drive.
Here is my question: Where were these ideas before--these new ideas Jimmy has suddenly started to have?
They were there in the creative force of his brain, but he prevented them from manifesting because he was thinking about his problem and only saw in himself an incapable person.
If you change, you will become the person who can create the solution to your problems. And this change simply means a shift in thinking and where you point your attention long enough.
Here are some proofs to confirm this truth: Every day, all over the world, men and women are changing their brains to become doctors, engineers, drivers, bankers, chefs, and other professions.
Without transforming your brain, it will be impossible for you to solve problems. After 40 days, Jimmy started driving short distances using daily visualization.
The difficulties of life will not cease. It's something we can't control. But there is one thing we can control and that is our way of thinking and being.
Perspective is an immensely powerful thing. It can change an entire life's trajectory. This is why sharing ideas with the people who are solution oriented is beneficial to navigate through life with ease and flow.
One of my e-mail coaching students wrote to me to say that she didn't know how just talking to someone to exchange ideas and seek better perspectives could bring her so much happiness and enlightenment.
For me knowledge and wisdom are like magic fountains. The more we draw the more they increase. It's crazy but it's true. So, I am looking forward to serving you, to chat with you, and to helping you see beyond your problems and challenges.